You are totally in control, Love!!

Last weekend, I went through a breakthrough.  I have heard the word breakthrough many of times in gospel songs and from pastors but I have never really understood the term.

But last weekend, I went through a BREAKTHROUGH.   I can only explain through my own experience.  But I went through a change in my soul....from feeling like I was stuck, responsible for everyone else lives, never being able to move into my dreams or my purpose and i just felt chained in the normalcy of life.     I went this freeing moment when I decided to believe what I was promised to me by the Lord Jesus Christ.

As the blind man scales fell from his eyes after Jesus touched them with mud....so were my scales of doubt, shame, depression, and lack of growth!!  I decided that it was my time and no one waiting for stuff to happen.     But once I said it to myself....it seemed like it was so simple until an hour later.....the FEAR came in.  LOL

I got so scared of leave my comfortability...what if what if settled in.     Well thank God for church!

As I entered church after 3 months hiatus.   I just wanted to be spectator, you know take my time to open up once again and to just be like everyone else.  I didn't want to be different.  

God decided to burst my bubble once again to remind me that He is in FULL control.

I watched the Pastor digest and spit out the Word to a point that I was like dang I want to be this kind of preacher one day.  The pastor was so on point that the Holy ghost fell and he started to prophetize.   At first, I was a little screwed face because I usually can spot false prophets a mile away.  But everything he towards others seemed to be towards me.  I just decided to listen....better yet I stated taking notes to cover up that fact that God was talking to me through the Pastor.   I kept hearing Walking it out.....letting go the shackles on your feet...Loose demons chains off of your feet.      I kept on writing down since it didn't seem like God was talking to me through the Pastor and then a women sitting in front of me turned around got out of her seat and walked towards me......remember I am in church....remember that the congregation is about roughly 150 people.....remember that the pastor was preaching and prophetizing.......all I remembered hearing....Hey YOU God is calling YOU to WALK now.....!!! 

I know that many of times, we Christians, do the exercise of being a good Christian.....We go to church, we read our Bibles and we might even praise or we might worship but we cannot forget that God knows our heart, our soul and HE knows US.   We cannot pretend with Him.   

I needed for God to put me in the spotlight to release those my scales that had blinded me from my future!  I needed for them to fall so I could grow.   I needed for the Lord to let me know that He has been watching me all this time.  I needed to hear from the Lord that He has always been with me and He heard my laughter and cries.  


I needed to know that my Father was in total control.

You are totally in control, Love!!

Keep on my love....loving

Recently, I have been feeling discouraged about love.  Why am I going through so much hurt and pain due to others not loving me in the same matter.   During one of my moments with God that He clearly said, " Keep on my love..loving!!

What does that MEAN? I SCREAMED? LOL  Keep on my love loving?


When I don't understand what God is trying to say I usually go to the Bible or continue to pray on the situation but The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:13 - Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.  Do everything in love."

A Hard pill to swallow when someone in your inner circle does not do the same....Do everything in love.
During an mentored moment by my aunt, she said something which struck a cord in me.... Do what Christ is requiring of you and more.  God would never leave you nor forsake you.


 In my flesh, I wanted to say but He has but in His Word clearly states He wants ME to  Do Everything in Love.      

I believe that Christ exhibits love on an another level which we will never fully experience on this Earth but at least we can TRY to love unconditionally.

Today, I ask that you Do everything in love. 

I am too afraid to love, Love?

For the past year, God has laid on my heart that I should do two things....create blogs speaking to other women and young girls about my story (testimony) and to inspire others to dig deeper into loving Him, my savior Jesus Christ.

I have been afraid that no one would read, listen or be interested.   You see my story isn't rosy.  No rose petals on the ground but I have years of pain, abuse and just living because God provided me with a promise.   His promise was that I would one day be a blessing to His Kingdom, that I would be in a successful relationships with a man and family, and that one day I would live abundantly.

I became afraid of that promise because what God was asking of me also to be exposed, to be real, to be open and to be honest.  All things that others have never been towards me.

I realized that what if I kept it real or exposed my heart to others or continued to be honest....will Love be there when folks start laughing at me?    Of course, He would but I was too afraid to say what I needed to say because I allowed the enemy to keep me fearful.  Being disobedience to Love is a no-no!!

I thank God for my husband, Mr. Romeo because his relentless pushing has annoyed me at times lol but he saw something in me that I wanted to hidden from the world.    I do have a shy, soft and sensitive side underneath this tough Brooklyn skin.....The biggest reason why I kept myself from this blog!

Because I was too afraid to love, Love?

You see.... I should know better that my God would NEVER leave me nor FORSAKE me.   Especially, when I am fulfilling His promise for my LIFE.  Duh!!!

 I am doing what He has created me to do and I do feel at peace right now.

So as of today, I have placed my entire life into His hands.  I will be writing, expressing and saying what He has asked me to say and do.   For in the end, He will be glorified!!

Awwww Love!!

So I have done a lot of things to Love, I have taken Him for granted, I have fell back in love with Love, turn my back on Love but Guess what Love always awwww loves me!

Recently, I have been re-evaluating my relationship with Love again....you see..... I got married in July and once you enter into a relationship with someone besides Love.   Well, He gets jealous! lol

He wants your attention on Him first and then the love from Him overflows into your relationship with others.

Sometimes I get it all wrong? LOL
I must admit it because my relationship with LOVE aka Jesus was a lil off balanced. But He loved enough to protect from worst, allowed me to lick my wounds and patted me on the butt and told me to keep going.

I am fortunate to have Christ as my savior and I am happy that He loves me even when I am unable to love myself.

I know I am rambling on today but awww Love is amazing.  I will be writing more on my Love.

Compassionate Love

You walk by the same unemployed or homeless person every day and never once said Hi or offer a quarter to him/her- Do you display compassion to your brothers/sisters?
A husband cheated on his wife but his wife stays with her husband and seeks restoration for their marriage. Should she be bitter towards her husband and not be compassionate even thru infidelity?
Folks you once considered, to be your friends, are now gossiping some of your personal business. Today, they have asked for your forgiveness, can you be compassionate towards them?
Recently, the Lord has placed on my heart the word compassion! Be compassionate! Show my love the way I do towards you! For years, I felt that people used my compassionate heart for being passive or a punk. I felt used for a while! I questioned why people would treat me cruel when all I did was display compassion!
But in this walk as a Christian, I am realizing that the Lord only rewards his saints and is never out to punish us. His heart is fully committed to being compassionate to his flock.
Matthew 1:41, " And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth [his] hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean".
What a perfect example of how compassion truly works! Jesus, not only, acted quickly to the needs of his people, he touched their heart with his love but here's the best part.... He cleanse them from inside out!Hallejuah!!!
Both parties received and accepted something through having compassion! Guess what???? What?? They were cleansed of their past strongholds and healed in the name of Jesus! Hallejuah!
What a bargain to gain! A two for one deal from the Almighty God We serve! Only Jesus can convict, heal and cleanse all at the same.So the next time, you question being compassionate towards someone else who didn't exchange the same spirit, think of Jesus! Remember Matthews 1:41.

Do you still love me?

There are times in our lives when you question whether or not the Lord Almighty truly loves you!!
I will be as transparent as possible because I truly understand and I am struggling with those very thoughts.

How can the Lord truly love me? Why would He place me into a whirlwind of emotions? Why would He allow me to watch the bottom fall out from underneath the very people I love so much? What is he trying to teach me in this season?

I am gangsta right(LOL) so I went into the spirtual realm with tough questions, some multiple questions, yes/no and a few essays. I wanted my answers ASAP because I was hurting at the time and needed normalcy to relieve me of the insanity of that period.

All in a sudden, I heard His voice saying, Why would you think I didn't love you.....Did I not create you and made you for my image alone? Don't you ever believe that I forgot my vows to you!! Do you not think I am not protecting you from harm even NOW.....Remember I am God!!

When I wasn't saved, when things occurred to me which were less than favorable I usually fought back with anger or cried out (Lord), " Hey WHY WHY WHY ME(Lord)?Or What did I do to deserve this?"

But now, I know that these things happen to anyone who truly confesses that Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior.

Strongholds, persecutions, gossiping, bickering, and division in the Kingdom of God all happen because we do not battle against flesh but against the evil doing of Satan.

As I cried out to God on the behalf of my family....my initial prayer started out just praising the Lord asking for protection. I noticed that I cared less about my hurt or pain but more about the people who were involved.

I felt His presence in a way that is unexplainable to express but one thing, I do know is that, God is truly interested in our well being.

So do you really want to know what I am thinking? I know that He loves me!!

Am I engaged, Love?

I am still pinching myself that I am engaged to be married to J!!
I haven't writing anything in almost a year because so much happened.

Brief summary......Met a counterfeit, things ended because the Lord was like oh you should have known better then I was back single again....then bingo my best friend and now my future husband got the official green light from God to court me!!

Yes, I am betrothed to J!! Yay Yippey Yay!!

Sounds quick right? But to be honest...the time was progressively slow before the green light. Since the pain I endured, inflicted by others but mainly by myself....I had to deal with those issues with my Love, Jesus Chrust.

I had to allow him to handle those tough days when I just wanted to be left alone and I didn't want those parts to be exposed. I needed to be married to Christ Jesus first before He would release me over to my future husband.

My Love did reveal to me 6 months prior that J was the one but I am so against it!! LOL You see J was the only man I had ever trusted as far as my feelings about Christ. I could discuss my love for my Love and he never questioned me. The other folks, were still trying to find their walk with Christ and I was always defending my relationship with God.
Yall know the story about unevenly yoked relationship BINGOOOOO!! LOL

In fact, J loved my Love more than I thought I did at times. He was open about his love for Jesus! For almost 7 years, he was faithful to God, obeyed the Lord, didn't date anyone in the church...... remained single until he was released to me. Something about him was attractive but I was happy that we were friends I wasn't even thinking about him in that matter. I was able to be myself around J. I allowed myself to be transparent. Part of my transparency made J resist asking me out prematurely. He wanted for me to be ready or just didn't think I was ready!! Either one, the Lord gave him the green light!! How amazing this process has been. I can only say every day I am in awe of the Lord love for me. I am so humble but I do deserve it!! Sorry I would be lying if I said something else. I deserve and I love being in love!! LOL greatness

I am loving my courtship process. I am enjoying it and not trying to get all deep or overanalyze what He has done or give advice as well......I am just trying to bask in my engagement with J and with Jesus!!