Stop moving, love!!!

If anyone truly knows me, I am always on the run. I think it has to do with my childhood.
From the age of 12-14 years old, I suffered from loneliness because I was not allowed to go outside. I had to play alone so I was a bit sheltered. I would look out my 7th floor window and streams of envious tears would come down my cheeks cause I wanted to be outside. I felt so different for the rest of the kids. I wanted to fit in.
My puberty stage was very awkward....my feet were too big, my mother gave me a Afro/punk rock hairstyle, skipped a grade so I was in an exclusive class in an all black Middle School... hmm, I didn't have that many friends except for two or three and they were mad quiet.

I decided that I was going to rebel and in my rebellious stage I distanced myself from God.
In my eyes, hmmm why would GOD want me to be unhappy, why would he keep me sad and alone.....why did I deserve this??? Although, it was only HIM who keep my grades were extremely high, gave me favor, who I would talk and share my dreams. I wanted OUT of that relationship.....it seemed boring. Look at everyone's having FUN FUN FUN.....Fun I thought!!


Satan offered me what I thought was a way out, but that way OUT was away from God's kingdom. And hello, do you know I was more sad, depressed, lonely without that relationship I kicked to the curb with my precious Lord. But hey, I was MOVING so I thought.

So while I was on the GO....God was screaming - Wait on me- Stop Moving, Love!! I was not trying to hear HIM. So many things happened in my moving days.....some I have shared already and others which I has been left at the altar. Let God deal with those burdens - I will admit I was not strong enough to fight those battles without God.

I thought enough was enough and wanted to bond back with God. Cause I remember those days just hanging out with him. I was so innocent just happy to be in his presence....so grateful so in love.....dealing with him alone. That's the day I gave my life back to him - God restored my life - I promised God that I would do what was expected of me.

Well, two weeks ago, I felt God saying to me Stop Moving, Love!! Stand Still....Forget about man, your friends, SEEK my FACE!! Stop moving, Love!!

I paused and just distanced myself from folks - intentionally because when I was alone and I didn't have anyone there for me but God!!
But a part of me was being that rebellious fool because I didn't want to be "alone" again. I wanted the lesson to be learned quickly. I wanted to keep it MOVING.

It didn't happen that way....I fell literally and not only did I fall again.....I fell hard and got injured in the process. You see the lesson was that I was getting too "vain", selfish, and showing off on my many blessings in the present and on the future. I was so hyped that my head got a bigger than my shoulders.....I started broading my shoulders and boommm - I fell!! I cannot even say what I was thinking before I fell but it was not Godly!! But that pain become a reminder that the only shoulder that should be broaden is from GOD's not mine.

God said "Let them see you transparently as I do....let them see how beautiful you appear to me......Stop moving, Love!! And SEEK me only. You need to stop moving, stop worrying cause everything is ok cause I got you, stop listening to other people they ain't ME, stop believing the Devil he wants to kill and destroy you, Humble yourself in my sight now......Stop Moving, Love!!

Stop Moving, Love!!

Testimonial Love

So after my testimony on New Year's Eve at church, I was having such a good time. God just anointed me to a point I have never experienced or could express in words. I felt like I was dancing with Jesus just lettting him know how much I LOVE HIM. How much he has brought me through and how he is so amazing. I had my Moses glow after he came out of the mountains lol and my David praise one. I was in that place with Jesus for like three days and then Satan sent his troops back at me in FULL force.

My testimony totally exposed me to so many demonic forces from my past or just a new breed of wickedness.

I felt Satan's presence and I tried to praise the Lord but stimulateously, I was fasting all types of music as well as givin up TV during the weekday (6 months) YIKES.

Well Satan had his opportunity to try to trip me up mentally. He got in for a minute I must admit because my prayer/worship life seemed to suffer because I was able to listen to gospel music. I started feeling a little distant but I kept speaking life into myself by my writings and also my discussions alone.
Finally, yesterday as I was walking into the sanctuary, I asked the Lord for a sign and for his presence to show up in my life in a mighty way. I needed him so much at that time.

As I was sitting in service, I was just listening to everything being done and looking for clues from the Lord to snap me out of my funk. And when I was not even expected it, one of my church friends came over to me during altar call and said come with me.

Oh, how Amazing is my God? How is that possible? He uses people, things and memories to align you back to his Word. Oh, as I cried out to him he answered my prayers. He has never failed me yet. That moment at the altar has allowed me to place all of my issues at his feet. I know he will do all that is supposed to be done. I leave it in his hands completely.

It's a New Year, LOVE

From 10 pm of December 31, 2008 until now, I felt this shift in my spirit of peace. As if I fully gave God FULL control of my life. I just felt him lift off all of the pain, strongholds, the bitterness, resentments, and just my past leave my soul. Oh oh oh how I dance like David for the Lord. Oh how I love him my LOVE so....there is no one more worthy for your deserving praise. Hallejuah!!