Am I over it YET?

I was the grudge queen or making up my face type of chick!! Am I over it YET? A good question and it was asked today. yo, are you really over that situation? If so then why is your demeanor still looking upset!!


Seriously I am over it YET? Cause the Lord is giving me the task to get over it!

I hope I deal with that task is another story but I am learning! LOL

No more grudges!! When something bothers me I remove myself from it now and start singing a hymn!!! Oh continuing saying to myself, "Stay Blessed fam. Stay blessed!! You are a warrior nothing can defeat you!"

I am over it!! Seriously, oh ok!! It still bothers me a little bit but I know it shouldn't. But the fact that you want it to bother me and it is not bothering me, bothers me!
Cause now I think you are doing it deliberately to annoy me. So now I am bothered when I said I was over it! ahhhhh but I am over it, really????

A Poem about Loving me

The pain I feel you never will be able to understand cause Love has never been in love with me. Love has always been pain to me.



That painful love is all I knew. You see love, love was taken from me by force. Love was unworthy to me. Love was sinful and played my heart like a prisoner.



love was dark and my destruction. love was controlling. love, love was never my friend. love wanted me dead, left me for dead. love watched me die and laughed while I cried cried inside cause I continue to love love love love, love, love.

love never loved me but I watched love just walk away from me....laughing laughed just laughing at me.



love, why did you do this to me?



I realized I did it to myself when I love, love, more than myself. I met a different LOVE and I found out LOVE was kind, compassionate, and respectful. I saw LOVE in the eyes of a child. That child was me. I walked with LOVE and he embraced me.



My LOVE, said Sorry, sorry for all the sorrow which happened to you. My true LOVE loved me loving me. My true LOVE loved me. He LOVED me loving him. My LOVE loved me loving him.



LOVE loves me loving LOVE in turns LOVE loves me loving me.

Loving myself

For a long time I thought I had it all together. I would say I love myself cause my appearance to others seemed as if I were strong.
I would bounce back from failed relationships and move on so quickly without a blink of an eye without a recovery. Those relationship appears to me like they never existed. Those folks did not matter to me and hmm they were afraid to be in presence. For years, no one wanted to be on my bad side. I was feared and being powerful gave me a thrill for a minute until my inside would burn cause I didn't like the feeling. I was hurt that people could not see my true essence. I was innocent, sweet, kind-hearted but guarded and bruised from a past which I wanted so hard to forget. I wanted so much for others to see me as I really was. But then I would be a punk, right?

You see this is where God stepped in. He was like, "I am tired of hearing you cry to me day and night. Praying for love, praying for a good relationship with a mate, with your family and your friends, and people knowing the true you. I am testing you again, we need some alone time." Well, that alone time was deep it was not fun, it was painful and DARK but when you are alone with God. You only listen man you listen!!
He said" Love me first". I fought back for a minute and just thought I could do me. That attitude with the neck rolling like I don't neeeed you!!


Surprise!!! I need him and only Solus Christus and I cried towards him and he was there for me. God brought me out of all of that and saw me as I always saw myself. As one of his children!!God truly loves me and vice versa. That day I submitted to his Will and put him first in my life. Boy has my life changed.
Everything I have prayed for has not happened cause I have no control of that only God. I am fine with that cause my new saved life is infinitely better.

Loving myself part II

Hi everyone,



This is Big Tash just talking from my own experience. Loving yourself is not easy and we all say that phrase at times either to shut folks up after a horrible break-up, it just sounds good saying or cause you truly mean it.



For years, I would say I love myself but then engage myself in relationships with men who did not truly love me. But I would continue along with the whole notation that yeah I still love myself. I took time out to be alone, ate alone, slept alone, went to work alone....notice all the alone time which made me feel like HEY I truly love myself.



It was until I was placed in a position where I found that my ex was dating me and several other people that I found out how much I loved myself. You see one part of me wanted to be so spiteful and make his LIFE a living H but hmm here is where the love part came in.



God entered with awesome presence. He said, "I always loved you even when you didn't and you deserve better. You know I love you, right?...... but why don't you love me first? Give up that sinful life!!"

It was scary cause I always thought I love myself and trusted myself but after reviewing the several failed relationships. Inever put trust in God, I only trusted my judgement.

Pain, rejection, depression, and listening to liars.



I submitted to trusting him and only him and that's when loving myself truly happened. I looked at myself and I trust only you, Lord. Please allow me to love myself more. And it is happening. I am still single but I know God is an awesome God and he already know who's my partner is. Please holla back with your comments.