There are times in our lives when you question whether or not the Lord Almighty truly loves you!!
I will be as transparent as possible because I truly understand and I am struggling with those very thoughts.
How can the Lord truly love me? Why would He place me into a whirlwind of emotions? Why would He allow me to watch the bottom fall out from underneath the very people I love so much? What is he trying to teach me in this season?
I am gangsta right(LOL) so I went into the spirtual realm with tough questions, some multiple questions, yes/no and a few essays. I wanted my answers ASAP because I was hurting at the time and needed normalcy to relieve me of the insanity of that period.
All in a sudden, I heard His voice saying, Why would you think I didn't love you.....Did I not create you and made you for my image alone? Don't you ever believe that I forgot my vows to you!! Do you not think I am not protecting you from harm even NOW.....Remember I am God!!
When I wasn't saved, when things occurred to me which were less than favorable I usually fought back with anger or cried out (Lord), " Hey WHY WHY WHY ME(Lord)?Or What did I do to deserve this?"
But now, I know that these things happen to anyone who truly confesses that Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior.
Strongholds, persecutions, gossiping, bickering, and division in the Kingdom of God all happen because we do not battle against flesh but against the evil doing of Satan.
As I cried out to God on the behalf of my family....my initial prayer started out just praising the Lord asking for protection. I noticed that I cared less about my hurt or pain but more about the people who were involved.
I felt His presence in a way that is unexplainable to express but one thing, I do know is that, God is truly interested in our well being.
So do you really want to know what I am thinking? I know that He loves me!!
