For a long time I thought I had it all together. I would say I love myself cause my appearance to others seemed as if I were strong.
I would bounce back from failed relationships and move on so quickly without a blink of an eye without a recovery. Those relationship appears to me like they never existed. Those folks did not matter to me and hmm they were afraid to be in presence. For years, no one wanted to be on my bad side. I was feared and being powerful gave me a thrill for a minute until my inside would burn cause I didn't like the feeling. I was hurt that people could not see my true essence. I was innocent, sweet, kind-hearted but guarded and bruised from a past which I wanted so hard to forget. I wanted so much for others to see me as I really was. But then I would be a punk, right?
You see this is where God stepped in. He was like, "I am tired of hearing you cry to me day and night. Praying for love, praying for a good relationship with a mate, with your family and your friends, and people knowing the true you. I am testing you again, we need some alone time." Well, that alone time was deep it was not fun, it was painful and DARK but when you are alone with God. You only listen man you listen!!
He said" Love me first". I fought back for a minute and just thought I could do me. That attitude with the neck rolling like I don't neeeed you!!
Surprise!!! I need him and only Solus Christus and I cried towards him and he was there for me. God brought me out of all of that and saw me as I always saw myself. As one of his children!!God truly loves me and vice versa. That day I submitted to his Will and put him first in my life. Boy has my life changed.
Everything I have prayed for has not happened cause I have no control of that only God. I am fine with that cause my new saved life is infinitely better.
I would bounce back from failed relationships and move on so quickly without a blink of an eye without a recovery. Those relationship appears to me like they never existed. Those folks did not matter to me and hmm they were afraid to be in presence. For years, no one wanted to be on my bad side. I was feared and being powerful gave me a thrill for a minute until my inside would burn cause I didn't like the feeling. I was hurt that people could not see my true essence. I was innocent, sweet, kind-hearted but guarded and bruised from a past which I wanted so hard to forget. I wanted so much for others to see me as I really was. But then I would be a punk, right?
You see this is where God stepped in. He was like, "I am tired of hearing you cry to me day and night. Praying for love, praying for a good relationship with a mate, with your family and your friends, and people knowing the true you. I am testing you again, we need some alone time." Well, that alone time was deep it was not fun, it was painful and DARK but when you are alone with God. You only listen man you listen!!
He said" Love me first". I fought back for a minute and just thought I could do me. That attitude with the neck rolling like I don't neeeed you!!
Surprise!!! I need him and only Solus Christus and I cried towards him and he was there for me. God brought me out of all of that and saw me as I always saw myself. As one of his children!!God truly loves me and vice versa. That day I submitted to his Will and put him first in my life. Boy has my life changed.
Everything I have prayed for has not happened cause I have no control of that only God. I am fine with that cause my new saved life is infinitely better.
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