I have been feeling confused how I receive or am I prepared to receive my man of Gawd if he were to walk into my life right now.
The answer is no - most likely he could be in my life right now and I know for a fact I am not prepared for him. With all of my materialistic blessings, I know that's not enough for my man of Gawd. I know in my heart that he is not in prepared for me as well. I know he is working on being a blessing to our future children as well as to me. His preparation is occurring simulateously with mine. We both are in preparation mode.
But at the same time, the DEVIL, hmm he is trying to bring people, things and etc to move us away from the Kingdom as well as what has already been designed by God.
This weekend, I remember hearing the Devil whisper hmm you need to get a man soon cause hmm your egg is going to dry up and you will end up making a disabled baby. I got a quick feeling of wow that might.....and then the story about Sarah and Elizabeth popped up into my mind.
And I fell back like no the Devil look what "your" planning did to my life....I got married at an early age, I had my son although he is a blessing. I planned ahead of God cause it was all about me me me. God forgave me but at the same time I am still hard on myself for I don't want to go there again.
Recently, I am fellowship with more Christian men and developing friendships and I keep hearing the Devil whisper to me...you know he is not interesting in you unless you do such and such or why don't you say something or you are in the single ministry for life, never will you break that curse!!
I dispell that existence on my life. I know that waiting on the Lord is the only option I have. I keep looking at my past and that it is the most SCARIEST thing to me. I cannot go back to those days. I refuse there is nothing in my past as far as relationships that would make me what to go backwards.
I am just waiting patiently.
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